They are, it seems, more and more frequent in the workplace: toxic relationships, which can undermine you to a point of no return (depression, burn out). How to recognize them?
It feels like there are more and more toxic relationships in the workplace. What do you think about manipulation?
People nowadays confirm that relationships seem more and more often toxic. This involution is due to four concomitant factors:
- Pressure at work (but also in the family or at school) which is constantly increasing
- Greed is also increasing in proportion: today, everyone wants everything
- The absence or resignation of parents in front of the children who have not learned the frustration, the expectation, the effort, the work. The people are not ready to improve communication skills to avoid conflicts
- The change in values: respect disappears in favor of pleasure and leisure
- Crises and other changes make you aggressive. Consequence: "toxic" people go to the shortest and impose or manipulate their interlocutors to obtain satisfaction ... Toxicity is contagious. Someone who has been assaulted is likely to assault in turn. The wellbeing at work is sometimes perturbed by internal conflicts.
What are the signals that should alert?
The signs of slippage are of two kinds: interior and exterior. The inner signs are the negative emotions and other impressions that you feel more and more frequently: anger, sadness, fear and stress (the synthesis of others) or in general, unease. You feel bullied, sidelined, denied, despised, criticized or devalued etc.
These signs do not prove anything by themselves, if they are not comforted / validated by the objective external signs: your boss or colleague criticizes you, or insults you more and more often. He ridicules you or humiliates you in public, takes away your projects, your responsibilities, your means or your prerogatives, he "forgets" to inform you or to invite you to a meeting ... In short, he no longer respects you, nor your working hours, neither your opinion, nor your privacy etc. The negative takes precedence over the positive.
How to get out / rebuild?
The first thing to do is to become aware of it. Without this awareness, nothing is possible.
Then you have to check your impressions with third parties. Eventually, consult a psychologist who will help you sort out the petty assaults and manipulations of ordinary office life and a true manipulator / aggressor. Talking about it allows you both to evacuate and to take a step back.
Finally, we must act according to the situation and communicate with the toxic person by asking him to stop. If that is not useful, go see other people: his hierarchical superior, the HR department to put pressure on him (or her), but also find a mediation support from specialists. As a last resort, you can also consult a lawyer or call the labor inspectorate.
In any case, never stay alone: isolation kills as much as the predator. Be aware that the law now states that the company should protect its employees.